The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky

SPOILER ALERT: Infinite. This book is, or should be considered, as I believe Charlie would want, infinite.

Likely one of the most powerful coming-of-age books that is, as I understand, becoming a classic to adolescents; as well it should. It is so hard to be in that awkward space of not quite a child, not quite an adult. Where everything is swirling in your head, your heart, your loins - what does it mean? Where do these youngsters turn? Not to their parents - I know that first hand, and second hand now as a parent myself.

If you’ve read the book and are a parent, you understand the fear of watching your child evolve, struggle, and take risks. You watch them have their feelings and heart hurt and there is nothing you can do but be there to hold them and pick them up when they let you; if they let you. It is excruciating to watch.

But if you are reading this post and are of the age described in the book, you know first hand how Charlie feels; lost, scared, too young, unaccepted, awkward, possibly on the spectrum. Perhaps you understand how his friends Sam and Patrick feel, who are trying to help him cope and fit in despite his differences. Or maybe it’s the relationship between Patrick and Brad that brings to light your clarity. Whoever you relate to in this novel, find your “Dear Friend.” Reach out, talk, cry, find your circle of support. You are not alone. You never have to walk life feeling you are the only one who is different, or struggling, or just doesn’t fit in. We all feel that way. We are all Wallflowers at some point.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower has moved me, perhaps changed me. I thought I did well for my children when they were navigating their wallflower stages, but perhaps I could have done better. Maybe if I would have read this book earlier...

This book should be required reading upon leaving the hospital with a newborn in tow and on the shelf of every school’s library. It is necessary to be reminded as adults and affirmed as youths, that life is messy and being human is fraught with all kinds of people and experiences.