My 4-year Cancerversary

It's been four years today since hearing, "you have cancer." So much has happened, not all bad, in fact, most of it life changing for the better. My body hurts daily, my words don't always find their way out of my mind, and my memory is not what it used to be; I struggle daily with new "anomalies." BUT, I have gained a new perspective of what my life means and why I'm still here. I have outlived many who had longer prognoses than I, suffering survivor's guilt and struggling to understand why. I have made friends with people I would never have otherwise known, and I have lost several I thought were my friends. I will never be the same as I was, my thoughts and feelings as to what is important have shifted dramatically, but I would NEVER want to go back and lose the clarity I have gained. Life is better now even through the pain, the fog, the loss of words. I know now I am not here just for my own pleasure and satisfaction, but to be a servant to others, in whatever way that means. So to that end, and while I would never wish me or anyone to ever go through this, I can honestly say I would never want to change the experience of the journey. Say your, "I love yous," be kind to strangers, and be grateful for how much or little you have, you are alive!